The notes in my phone from my trip since this one laid me OUT so I was just rolling around and moaning and crying and whatever else:
I got SAT DOWN by my subconscious today. In all fairness, I asked for it. I was feeling brave.
While ingesting the blue ass stem, I asked for my subconscious to show me or give me the trip I NEED the most. Cue the shadow figures and nightmarish vibes. It felt nice after I leaned in to it and stopped worrying though. I felt at home in the darkness and had this really comforting sense that I could handle whatever came up, no matter how terrifying. The shadow figures would dissipate when I’d move towards them to find out who they were and what they wanted.
Got the sense it was a test of some sort. Don’t ask me why I think that because I can’t give you a precise answer…. It’s just a pretty convincing feeling. Test for what? No clue. But felt like there was a monitoring presence in the distant background.
Random notes throughout the 5 ish hours
Probing too hard in the subconscious can cause severe mental anguish like a psychotic break (A man I loved unalived himself after releasing major trauma to me and it triggering a psychotic episode etc) if not ready or safe for the pain to be released.
Be gentle . Be patient . Let the questions simmer. Forget and answers will come if repeatedly asked with curiosity and love. Do NOT force it. You will not win
Side note: ear cavities feel sooooo big on psychedelics. Put your finger in there and it like sinks into some weird ear universe
Omfg the YAWNS today!!! Like jaw breaking shit wowwwwww I flove it when this happens! I always get energy after I yawn that apathy and depression out. Almost as good as a big fart or orgasm when it comes to the quality purges
Mushroom Musings 